Dealing With Change at Work: How to Get Comfortable and Even Excited

Key takeaways

• Most change we dread is the kind forced on us. There's another kind, deliberate change, that you choose and can genuinely look forward to.
• The reason sudden change hurts is that we had no backup plan. Build a buffer while things are calm, and the next shock lands softly.
• Big change is really a run of small steps. Pick one action that moves you the right way and do it, then find the next.
• One good change tends to knock over the next one. I've watched a single tidy decision set off a run of better ones, like dominoes.
• You don't have to do it alone. A sounding board makes you far more likely to pick the right change and to stick with it.

What if I told you there's a kind of big life change you could actually look forward to?

Most of us are creatures of habit. We like knowing we're safe and comfortable, so the thought of a major shift tends to be terrifying, the sort of thing we'll dodge at almost any cost. I'm no different. I've talked myself out of good decisions purely because the familiar felt warmer.

But there's a version of change you can get genuinely excited about. It's called deliberate change, and it hands you back the steering wheel. Once I understood the difference, dealing with change at work stopped feeling like something happening to me and started feeling like something I was doing on purpose.

Comfort starts at the edge of your comfort zone

When we picture sweaty-palm change, we're picturing the kind that's forced on us. Sudden, out of our hands, no say in it at all. Redundancy. A restructure announced on a Tuesday. A manager who leaves and takes the whole team's steadiness with them.

Deliberate change has the opposite feel. It's strategic, it's planned, and it's proactive rather than reactive. Best of all, it's easy to start, and you can start today. When the change is your choice, it stops being a threat and becomes a decision. That's surprisingly freeing.

I saw this with a client, a finance manager who was quietly miserable in her role. She couldn't control whether the company reorganised around her, but she could control one thing: she started learning the side of the business she'd always been curious about. Nothing dramatic. An hour here, a coffee with someone in another team there. Within a year she'd moved sideways into a role she actually wanted. The change she chose made the change she feared far less scary.

Why dealing with change at work is easier when you prepare early

The reason unexpected change hits so hard is that you had no backup plan. So the trick to getting comfortable with the big shifts that turn up in a career, and in mid-life more broadly, is to build resilience while things are running smoothly.

Deliberately create a buffer for yourself. It gives you more room in your decisions and softens the blow when life throws something difficult at you, which it inevitably will. That buffer might be:

• Cash in the bank, so a job you hate isn't a cage you can't leave.
• Being adequately insured, so a health scare doesn't become a financial one on top.
• Systems and processes ready at work, so if you're suddenly out for a fortnight the wheels don't fall off.

Here's the uncomfortable truth I've learned the hard way. Nobody builds a buffer when they're panicking. You build it on the boring, ordinary days when nothing's wrong and it feels almost pointless. Then one day something goes wrong, and the buffer is the only reason you get to make a calm choice instead of a desperate one.

I keep what I call a "what if I got hit by a bus" folder for my own business. Logins, key contacts, the two or three things that would matter most in a crisis. It took me an afternoon. I hope I never need it, and I sleep better knowing it's there.

The domino effect: change is inevitable, so make the first one a good one

Here's the part I wish someone had told me 20 years ago. Change isn't optional. It's coming whether you invite it or not, so the only real question is whether you go first.

And when you go first with a good change, something quietly brilliant happens. One good change tends to knock over the next. I call it the domino effect, and I've watched it play out too many times to think it's a coincidence.

A friend of mine decided, with no grand plan, to start walking for twenty minutes before work. That was the whole ambition. But the walking meant she slept better. Sleeping better meant she stopped reaching for the mid-afternoon sugar. More energy meant she finally had the headspace to ask for the project she'd wanted for two years. She got it. None of those later dominoes were on her list. The first one knocked them over.

I've seen it at work again and again. A team that tidies up one clunky process suddenly notices three more they can fix. A manager who has one honest conversation finds the next one easier, and the one after that easier still. Progress builds its own momentum. The hardest domino to tip is always the first, because it's the one you have to push with nothing behind it.

So you don't need to map out the whole chain before you start. You couldn't anyway. You just need to pick one honest, positive change and let it do its work. The rest tends to reveal itself once you're moving.

Change takes practice

Major change gets a whole lot more comfortable when you practise it. Even significant change happens as a series of small actions. Rome wasn't built in a day, and big deliberate change doesn't need to happen all at once.

If there's something you want to change, start with the first step. Work out the one thing that will nudge you in the right direction, and do it. Then find the next step, and keep going.

A practical way I coach people through this:

• Name the change in one sentence. If you can't say it plainly, it's still too fuzzy to act on.
• Shrink the first step until it's almost embarrassingly small. Not "change careers" but "message one person who does the job I want."
• Do it this week, not this quarter. Momentum has a short shelf life.
• Notice the domino. When one small win makes the next step easier, that's the signal you're on the right track.

Before you've had time to notice, things will be different. And one day you realise you're not just comfortable with change, you go looking for it.

Change isn't easy

I'm not here to hand out false hope. The early stages can be hard. They're uncomfortable, and some days you'll want to bolt straight back into the warm arms of the familiar. I still get that pull. Feeling it doesn't mean you've chosen wrong. It usually just means you've chosen something that matters.

The good news is you don't have to do it alone. From experience, you'll be far more successful at change-making with support in your corner. A sounding board to help you pick the right change in the first place, and to keep you honest when it gets tough and quitting starts to look reasonable. That's a lot of what our coaching is really for, giving people a steady second opinion while they push that first domino.

Frequently asked questions

What's the difference between deliberate change and the change I'm scared of?

The change most of us fear is forced on us: redundancy, a restructure, an illness. Deliberate change is the opposite. You choose it, you plan it, and you control the pace. It puts you back in charge, and that sense of control is exactly what makes it something you can look forward to rather than dread.

How do I start dealing with change at work when everything feels overwhelming?

Shrink it. Pick one small step you could take this week. Send one message, block one hour, fix one process. Big change is just a run of small actions strung together, so the goal isn't to solve everything at once. It's simply to move.

What is the domino effect and how do I trigger it?

The domino effect is when one good change quietly sets off the next. Better sleep leads to more energy, which leads to a bolder decision at work. You trigger it by making one honest, positive change and paying attention. The hardest domino is always the first, because it's the only one you push with nothing behind it.

So if there's a change you've been circling for a while, what's the one small domino you could tip over this week?